Dealing With The “Are You Taking Down Your Online Dating Profile?” Conversation

datingAt some point in time, your online dating profile will do wonders for your love life. Whether you’re looking for a friend, a hook up, or the love of your life, there is something for everyone with online dating. The thing is, having an online dating profile in most relationships is a major “no,no”.

It doesn’t necessarily matter why you originally signed up for online dating, but when you enter into a new relationship, it is typically assumed that you are to take down your dating profile. Obviously, only if the relationship is progressing towards exclusivity. Dating around doesn’t count.

So the question is, how do you deal with that inevitable conversation? “When should we take down our dating profiles?”, “When is it serious enough to stop looking for dates online?” or if you have a somewhat insistent new partner, they may push for it sooner than you thought – “When are you getting off dating sites? I already did when we first met”.

Well, maybe you won’t ever have the conversation in actuality. Maybe you’ll both just silently agree that you’ll take it down and you both do at the perfect time. In an ideal situation, this is great. The problem is, not every situation is this easy.

So what do you do? It’s simple. Be firm in your opinion, be open and honest about the situation and don’t feel bad about talking about it with your partner.

For example, some “dating sites” aren’t always what they seem. Singleswithfoodallergies.com is one of those sites that has ended up being more of a community for individuals with food allergies to meet, share and learn from each other about living a food allergy lifestyle. So in this case, maybe it’s a good idea to discuss how much these connections, and not necessarily potential dates, have had a positive impact on your life. Maybe you both can come to an agreement about an open profile where you both have access to it. Be sure to be clear in your profile as well to ward off potential suitors. Be clear in your intentions for using the community.

While singleswithfoodallergies.com isn’t the typical “dating site” per say, it’s probably one of those sites that you can maintain through a relationship if you’ve built a support community.

On the other hand, if you have profiles on dating sites that are widely accepted as sites to hook up, find love or date around, the decision to remove your profile is inevitable. In all honesty, you really should not be on a dating site when you are exclusive with someone so the decision is pretty easy. But, if your partner is delaying and hasn’t yet gotten offline, you’ll probably have to bring it up. To make it easy for you, here is a little script in case you are the nervous kind.

“So, I am really loving getting to know you and I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel about you at this point. I have been exclusively dating you for some time now and I am not sure where you stand on that from your end, but I’d like to have an open conversation about it and get an idea of what you’re thinking. Are you still on that dating site? (even if you already know) I got rid of my dating profiles a couple of weeks ago and just want to make sure we are on the same page.”

Hopefully they are open and honest with you as well. If they are not, then you probably need to reconsider the relationship in its entirety. If lying is easy in the beginning, it will only get worse.