3 Things Single Moms are Tired of Hearing You Say

pexels-photo-144294There are so many misconceptions about being a single mom that need to be cleared up.  No, not all moms are the same and yes, sometimes manufactured stereotypes can be true to form in certain situations.

The thing is, single moms are tired of hearing you ask the same questions, listening to you give the same advice you most likely know nothing about and clearing up falsehoods about their personhood. When in doubt, just don’t say anything at all and avoid sounding ignorant and rude.

Here are 3 things you need to just stop saying to single moms:

1. “You must love your solo time when the kids are at dad’s.” Um, no. Why would we want to be separated from our kids? As a mom with a family still intact, you most likely crave an hour of alone time because let’s face it, space is limited and you most likely get to see your kids every day and put them to bed every night. As a single mom, the kid’s go to dad’s and that hurts. You feel empty and shattered. So stop saying single mom’s like their time away from the kids. It’s quite the opposite. Single mom’s crave every moment they can surrounded by their kids since life’s situations has limited it.

2. “I can imagine how hard it is for you to be raising the kids on your own.” No, you can’t imagine it because you’ve never had to experience it if you’ve never been a single mom. In most cases, people can’t “imagine” what someone else’s situation is like unless they’ve experienced it on a personal level. Being a single mom is very difficult but in a way could be more rewarding at times because less can sometimes mean more. So when in doubt, avoid “imagining” what her “single mom status” is and try to relate as a mother in general.

3. “You get to workout more often, drink wine, go out and have a social life again!” This is far from true, because when a single mom’s kids are at dad’s, she’s not conjuring up ways to be “free” again. She’s probably working to pay bills, getting chores done, cleaning, meal prepping, and doing all the things you normally do on a regular basis. Why? Because when kids come home, she wants it to be about them as much as possible. Since time is shortened by joint custody with the kids, she’s getting all of her responsibilities in order while the kids are away so that when they are home, she has the flexibility to spend as much meaningful time with them as possible.