What You Should Know About Dating a Single Mom
Dating anyone can be a challenge in the beginning when you’re first learning about them and getting to know who they really are. While it’s a very exciting time in any relationship that is moving along, it’s also a very important point in your relationship. It’s the time to figure out if your lifestyles match, if you’re able to live with one another’s flaws, if your ideals are in sync and whether or not the relationship has enough steam to keep moving forward.
For anyone, this could mean you’re constantly on edge, contemplating whether or not the person you are dating will be the person that you can start getting serious about. The thing about dating a single mom is that this process happens pretty quickly and they pretty much keep you or give you the boot before you can blink. With a single mom, you need to put aside the games and step up to the plate. There is no room for play. So, to make the process easier for you, here are a few things you should know about single mom life before taking the plunge.
1. Her kids are her first priority. OK, not everyone is a stellar mom. Not every mom puts her kid’s needs first and many moms downright neglect their kids, but when you find a good one, you should know her kids will always be her first priority. Keep that in mind, but don’t think you will be forgotten. She may not put you before her kids but how can you blame her? If they were your biological kids you would be proud of how great of a mother she is – and who knows, maybe you guys would have a little one together. Don’t you want her to be the best version of a mother she can be? So if you’re worried about being second fiddle, don’t be. You will still be a critical part of her life and once you’ve all established your new family, you will fit in like a puzzle piece and you will forget what life was like before you found them.
2. When her kids go to their dads, she won’t be whole. The problem is, kids are an extension of their parents and when a single mom’s kids go to their dads on his time, her heart aches. She may not outwardly show you, especially not at first, but when she’s separated from her kids life isn’t the same. She may be able to enjoy her time, laugh, smile and live life normally, but deep down she’s missing something. A piece of her heart and soul is elsewhere and she’s subconsciously always questioning why her life turned out the way it did. Why were her cards dealt in such a way that separates her from her kids some, half or most of the time. Keep that in mind when you’re dating a single mom. Just because her kids aren’t with her in that moment, it doesn’t mean she’s back to being a childless women for the weekend. She will always be a mom.
3. She’s going to need you to be patient. Her schedule is going to be a lot busier than you understand. Not only is she managing her own life, she’s managing a household with little critters that have their own set of social, school and extra curricular activities calendars. It’s a lot to manage and a lot of time spent focusing on everyone else but herself. She’s not going to be able to spontaneously make plans with you most of the time and she will have to be unavailable a lot of the time.It’s just something you are going to have to get used to. She’s got a lot on her plate and you’re going to have to be patient. She’s not blowing you off, she’s just being a mom. You’ll get used to it eventually and more importantly, you will understand it, but until then be patient.